Where are all the good men? I am so over this question.

Ok ok ok....apparently everyone has come to the conclusion that there are no men anymore.

I've heard it all:

• All the men are in jail.
• All the men are gay.
• All the men are with white women.
• All the men have at least four women.
• All the men are losers.
• All the men are (insert negative adjective).

Ok, these lines are NOT TRUE. When it comes to dating, the men are not always the problem. Some of the time the problem is with the women. Now I am not trying to be hard on women, because there are some loser men out here BUT since women outnumber men, why are there so many men who can't seem to find a good woman? Because women sometimes have a problem with self-reflection. So what do I mean by self-reflection? When you look in the mirror what do you see? Are you truly happy with who you are? Do you have the qualities that you seek in a mate? All of these questions need to be answered BEFORE you seek someone to love. You have to love yourself FIRST. Everyone has heard that you can't find love until you love yourself, but very few actually take heed to that statement.

Women need to realize that there are soooo many of us. Men have the "pick of the litter" unfortunately. So how are you different? Are you sleeping with him too soon? Are you looking for a man with money, yet your credit score is 550? Are you looking for a man with no children, yet you have three? Does he have to be 6'2", muscular, dark chocolate, bald and romantic? I mean some of these "lists" women have are absolutely ridiculous.

There is nothing wrong with "standards". I am by no means saying you have to "settle". I am saying you have to be realistic, and have the qualities that you seek.

How are you DIFFERENT from the next woman? I am so over women complaining about men and themselves. If I was a man, I would NEVER date a woman who is constantly bashing another man. My baby daddy ain't shit. All men are cheaters. All men are this and that. Some women just put their baggage right on the table on the first date. I don't want to hear it, so I know a man who is potentially interested in dating you does not want to hear how Rakeem daddy never picks him up. A man says you look very nice. What do some women immediately do? Put themselves down. Oh, but look at me, I know I need to lose weight. I hate my hair etc. Self-Esteem is GOLDEN. Minimizing your beauty, self-worth, independence etc is a TURN-OFF. But on the other hand being overly egotistical is a turn off as well. No one wants to hear how you make so much money, you know you are this and that. A nice personality and confidence goes a long way.

So if you took the time to read this, and you are single and looking to meet a potential mate I want you to think about somethings....

• How do you feel about yourself?
• What have you done lately for yourself? i.e. vacation, new haircut, take a class etc.
• What qualities do YOU have that sets you apart?
• Where have you gone to meet a potential mate? If club is on your list, try some new places.
• Are you emotionally available for dating? i.e. are you still sleeping with an ex, thinking about one, etc.

To be continued...

I just hope dating has NOT resorted to this: